I teach my coaching clients a concept called Graceful Assertiveness. It requires extending an ocean of grace back to ourselves as we do the courageous work of undoing generations of conditioning. Conditioning that taught women to feel like, and accept being treated like, and paid like second-class citizens.

A client of mine, let's call her Jia -- a thought leader in her field -- is preparing for a showdown.

Doing what's in Jia's best long-term interest financially, professionally, and personally means communicating a decision that will anger her biggest client (for now).

Here are the three steps we took in coaching.