No one is coming to crown you. You put the tiara on.

When you bring the locus of control back inside, you’re not denying the reality of bias or structural barriers.

You hold the remote. You choose your next move. You vote—for yourself, with your tribe, and, when needed, with your feet.

That’s what sovereignty looks like in your career.

Women sometimes tell me, “But I don’t know how to negotiate for myself,” as if it’s a fact as obvious as the sky.

I don’t buy that for a second.

As a coach who’s helped women earn over $3 million and counting in additional compensation—the issue is not that women are somehow inherently inferior at negotiation.

The real truth is that we’re operating in systems that penalize us for using negotiation skills, and we’ve been socialized to doubt what we already do brilliantly.

My mom — a South Korean immigrant with ironclad grit who wishes nothing less than abundance and success for her children — would probably get mad at me for saying this: I delight in making less money, by design.

It’s not a failure of strategy or a lack of hard work. Choosing to leave money on the proverbial table is a deliberate, values-based choice.