I teach my coaching clients a concept called Graceful Assertiveness. It requires extending an ocean of grace back to ourselves as we do the courageous work of undoing generations of conditioning. Conditioning that taught women to feel like, and accept being treated like, and paid like second-class citizens.

In dozens, if not hundreds, of conversations I've had over the years with directors, VPs, and department heads in engineering, finance, construction, and tech, many of them wrestle with the same quiet, corrosive experience: being technically excellent and still somehow invisible in the leadership suite where they're the only woman. Here’s a framework to help you deal with that issue.

Do you ever feel "desensitized" to your accomplishments?

Like everyone who matters probably already knows, since they're CC'd on your Monday updates or sit in on your monthly strategy sessions.

So it feels redundant, maybe even cocky, to restate the boringly obvious magnitude and impact of your contributions (which, in your mind, substantiate why you should've been promoted last review cycle, and you feel frustrated that the promotion went to Disappointing Steve instead of you).