The Weird Thing I did in June 2020
One of the things I'm most proud of in the month of June is that I let myself feel sad.
Deep sorrow about injustice, quarantine, and my dashed hopes for a beach vacation.
A few times this month, I cleared my schedule to just sit and be with sad, as if it were a friend. And cry.
[REPLAY] How to Lead With Resilience in the New Normal
In this bonus training, I walk you through four simple and powerful coaching tools I use to help my coaching clients bounce back from the emotional fallout of dealing with COVID-19 and racial injustice crises in our world (as of June 2020).
You'll learn:
1. How to reclaim your power in difficult situations so you can feel emotionally in control
2. Simple strategies for dealing with stress and emotional fallout without snapping at people or repeating mantras…and more
What My Bosses Got Wrong About Me
For a former boss, I may still be the Korean “girl” who never smiled at work. (Outside of work, I smiled plenty)
Or a bleeding heart liberal who belonged at a nonprofit. (This was the career assessment I once got from a CTO of a startup)
Here's What's Working for My Clients
Here's what's working for my clients:
👉🏼 Bouncing back from COVID lay-off by creating a vision for her future so vivid, that she can feel the fabric of the outfit her Future Self is wearing as a public speaker. Then audaciously volunteering to give a talk at the next virtual conference.
How I Went From $10/hr to $110K
My first job out of college, I got paid $10/hour to make cold calls for a shady internet company until the CEO got indicted for shady behavior.
I can do better than this, I thought.
Women, Negotiating, and Self-Worth
Why do so many women settle for feeling bad about not asking for what they want, and fear feeling bad after hearing no?
Read this post to understand the two fundamental reasons underlying this reluctance to negotiate, so you can overcome it.
Oblivious and Overworked
I used to believe that I have to work twice as hard because I am a woman, an Asian, middle daughter of non-English speaking immigrants who worked seven days a week.
Like all humans, I had absorbed messages from society that other people decide my worth. And to prove my worth, while being different and female, I had to do twice as much while taking up half the space of other people. As if my life didn't matter as much…
5 Steps to Negotiate When Emotions Are Running High
How do you negotiate when emotions are running high?
My clients sometimes worry that asserting themselves will make their manager angry, and that this will lead to retaliation or backlash.
Even if heated words have already been exchanged, it’s possible for you to neutralize tension and get to agreement.
Read more for five simple steps I walk my clients through.
What To Do When You're Afraid of Being Disliked for Being Assertive
“People don't like me when I'm assertive.”
Wait, is that even true?
Read on for two stories of how I got over the fear of being disliked for my assertiveness, and what you can do to apply this to your own life and career for more growth, more fun, and more money.
How to Be Assertive Without Being an A-hole
"I'm afraid being assertive means I'll be like the A-hole that I don't respect at work."
"Being assertive is just WRONG, in the middle of a pandemic and in economic uncertainty."
The fear of taking a stand for you shows up in a hundred and one ways.
Pushy or a Pushover?
Are you pushy or a pushover?
Read on for what you can gain from being on either side of the pushy-pushover spectrum.
3 Steps to a Better Review
Ellen's story in the book How Women Rise resonates with smart ambitious women I coach. See if it resonates with you, too.
When Ellen, a software engineer, got feedback from her boss that she wasn't doing enough to keep stakeholders updated, she couldn't believe it.
When You're Anxious and Annoyed with People At Work
A client told me she felt like a polar bear on a melting ice cube.
Helpless. Stuck. Anxious.
Her company was restructuring, and the people brought on to manage the entire process were, in her words, "buffoons."
Myth of Depending on Other People
Are you at the mercy of other people’s opinions about you when it comes to getting promoted and better paid?
Well, duh, you might say. 360 reviews would prove that.
So how do you get people to see you in a new light?
51% Rule of Getting Buy-In
There's a simple strategy -- 51% rule of Political Savvy -- that you can start implementing right way to improve results...WITHOUT being machiavellian and WITHOUT manipulative or playing games.
Read on for how my client applied this simple strategy to get support, get buy-in, and get recognized as a leader, changing the trajectory of her career.
One thing that's NOT an option
Looking to external things for confidence is not an option.
This has always been the case, but with everything going on, it's become abundantly clear.
Disagree? So did I.
When Fear Runs the Show, Write a Love Letter
When fear runs the show, write a love letter.
Read more for the love letter I wrote them, and prompts to write your own today.
When Beating Yourself Up Is As Easy As Eating Out Of The Pantry
Being home all day can make ruminating and beating yourself up as easy as eating out of the pantry.
Except you don’t grow… other than exhaustion, self-doubt and maybe your pant size.
Self-criticism blinds you from your own value.
Read on for one simple way to reconnect with your value…and the grace you need today.
[SCRIPTS] 4 Steps to Take Before "Things Settle"
Don't wait to see "where things settle" to start advocating for yourself.
If you wait, the big decisions will be made for you.
You'll be told again, "You're doing great, and we can revisit your promotion next year."
The time to start becoming your own best advocate is NOW, not later.
Read more for four steps you can take THIS WEEK.
Case Study with Script: What To Do When You're 50% Qualified
What do you do when you think you're 50% qualified for the leadership role that just opened up?
Read on for 3 simple questions and 1 sample script to get you moving forward and getting the help of decision-makers.