I got to each first doing it messy.

I made LOTS of mistakes. (And still do.)

The costliest mistakes were whenever I thought I had to be fake, play politics or jump through extra hurdles to "prove my worth" at work.

20 years ago in New Jersey, I was an awkward, introverted high school senior.

Even though I had zero popularity, I asked five boys to go to the prom with me.

They all said no.

Complete this challenge once a day. Do it for 30 days.

Before the next interview / negotiation / performance review, re-read your proud list.

Feel the instant confidence boost.

Do you know about the 2-word rule of praise?

This changes the game for smart, accomplished women who struggle with impostor syndrome and low self-confidence at work. The struggle stops today.

In this interactive Q&A with coaches Shyla Cash and Anke Docherty, we addressed the following questions:

• What is trauma and how can smart ambitious women understand it so we can move forward?

• What does it mean to "regulate your emotions?" And how do we do it?

• If you've been unexpectedly let go from your job due to COVID, what's the best way to address this in job applications or interviews? and more…

One of the things I'm most proud of in the month of June is that I let myself feel sad. 

Deep sorrow about injustice, quarantine, and my dashed hopes for a beach vacation. 

A few times this month, I cleared my schedule to just sit and be with sad, as if it were a friend. And cry. 

In this bonus training, I walk you through four simple and powerful coaching tools I use to help my coaching clients bounce back from the emotional fallout of dealing with COVID-19 and racial injustice crises in our world (as of June 2020).

You'll learn:

1. How to reclaim your power in difficult situations so you can feel emotionally in control

2. Simple strategies for dealing with stress and emotional fallout without snapping at people or repeating mantras…and more

For a former boss, I may still be the Korean “girl” who never smiled at work. (Outside of work, I smiled plenty)

Or a bleeding heart liberal who belonged at a nonprofit. (This was the career assessment I once got from a CTO of a startup)

Here's what's working for my clients:

👉🏼 Bouncing back from COVID lay-off by creating a vision for her future so vivid, that she can feel the fabric of the outfit her Future Self is wearing as a public speaker. Then audaciously volunteering to give a talk at the next virtual conference.

My first job out of college, I got paid $10/hour to make cold calls for a shady internet company until the CEO got indicted for shady behavior.

I can do better than this, I thought.

Why do so many women settle for feeling bad about not asking for what they want, and fear feeling bad after hearing no?

Read this post to understand the two fundamental reasons underlying this reluctance to negotiate, so you can overcome it.

I used to believe that I have to work twice as hard because I am a woman, an Asian, middle daughter of non-English speaking immigrants who worked seven days a week.

Like all humans, I had absorbed messages from society that other people decide my worth. And to prove my worth, while being different and female, I had to do twice as much while taking up half the space of other people. As if my life didn't matter as much…

How do you negotiate when emotions are running high? 

My clients sometimes worry that asserting themselves will make their manager angry, and that this will lead to retaliation or backlash. 

Even if heated words have already been exchanged, it’s possible for you to neutralize tension and get to agreement. 

Read more for five simple steps I walk my clients through.

“People don't like me when I'm assertive.” 

Wait, is that even true? 

Read on for two stories of how I got over the fear of being disliked for my assertiveness, and what you can do to apply this to your own life and career for more growth, more fun, and more money.

"I'm afraid being assertive means I'll be like the A-hole that I don't respect at work."

"Being assertive is just WRONG, in the middle of a pandemic and in economic uncertainty."

The fear of taking a stand for you shows up in a hundred and one ways.

Are you pushy or a pushover?

Read on for what you can gain from being on either side of the pushy-pushover spectrum.

Ellen's story in the book How Women Rise resonates with smart ambitious women I coach. See if it resonates with you, too.

When Ellen, a software engineer, got feedback from her boss that she wasn't doing enough to keep stakeholders updated, she couldn't believe it.

A client told me she felt like a polar bear on a melting ice cube.

Helpless. Stuck. Anxious.

Her company was restructuring, and the people brought on to manage the entire process were, in her words, "buffoons."

Are you at the mercy of other people’s opinions about you when it comes to getting promoted and better paid?

Well, duh, you might say. 360 reviews would prove that.

So how do you get people to see you in a new light?