A client recently came to a session with an anxiety level of ten out of ten. By the time she arrived at our coaching session, she had already spent an hour talking to a therapist about the accident. Yet, she still felt like she was, in her words, “surviving but not thriving.”

"Let’s address that anxiety," I said.

Cindy Gallop famously says, "The amount you ask for in a salary negotiation is the highest amount you can say out loud without actually bursting out laughing.” 

This morning, I repeated that advice to a coaching client—a high-achieving attorney on the verge of receiving a new job offer.

The real reason to negotiate your next job offer or raise goes far beyond your paycheck.
But first, let’s talk numbers. When you negotiate, your chances of a pay increase go way up:
📊 85% of those who negotiate get at least some increase (Salary.com survey)
💼 70%+ of hiring managers expect candidates to negotiate (Robert Half survey)
💰 Typical salary increases range from 10% to 20%—some secure even more.

You're invited to two upcoming events. One is a virtual workshop on salary negotiation via Zoom (2/14/25) and the second an in-person live workshop on confidence in New York City (3/12/25). 

My coaching practice stands for diversity, inclusion, and self-advocacy—empowering women, non-binary folks, and people of color in workplaces that often overlook them. Tune into my podcast interviews on navigating workplace bias, handling discrimination, and building confidence. Plus, join my Confidence Lab in NYC on March 12 to overcome self-doubt using neuroplasticity. 

'Tis the season for this sort of thing. 

A look back at 2024: a tumultuous, terrible-yet-terrific year

When I was 16, I came home from a mission trip to an empty apartment. No family, no note—just a busted dresser with beads my parents used to make Puerto Rican flags for their gift shop in Jackson Heights, Queens.

It was 1998. No cell phone, no way to reach anyone.

The old logic of career progression and leadership advancement -- or any 'supposed to be's -- is dissolving before our eyes. 

Whether it's the "Silver Wave," a red wave, or changes fueled by AI, there's a tidal wave of change underway. 

Strange times call for getting...weird. 

As Kamala said:
Don't you ever listen when anyone tells you something is impossible, because it has never been done before. You have the capacity to do extraordinary good in the world. 

Ready to turn “no” into your next opportunity?

You're done letting "no" (the pushback, all the hemming and hawing, and the excuses) hold you back.

You're ready to equip yourself with the best tools possible to get past impasse, so you make greater impact.

🦄 Behind the myth of a unicorn startup is burnout.

👉 But burning out doesn’t have to be your destiny when you are wizened to a few truths.

Here’s what went down in coaching today…

On Monday, I had the privilege of delivering one of the most fun and interactive self-advocacy workshops I've done in person -- "Negotiate WAY Better" as one of the key workshops at Project 1490's "Badassery in the Berkshires" retreat for executive women. 

Celebrating my client who earned a promotion to Senior Manager at her AI startup, along with a $25K raise. Despite facing doubts due to her age and gender, she redefined authority and proved her capability. Here’s what we did in coaching…

My client received an incomplete email about a time-sensitive project from one of her direct reports. Her response requesting the missing information was met with a terse and defensive reply. 

Moments like these have her feeling tension behind her eyes and wondering: 

• Why is my team so mediocre? 

• Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? 

• Can I keep growing my career if I struggle with people like this?

When my clients tell me how they spin out in anxious rumination or freeze up without speaking up in large meetings -- I know it ain't because they haven't tried hard enough.

When I walked off Koreana Air 747 in December 1989, the only English I knew was the alphabet and how to spell “violin” (even though I never learned to play it). Read on to find out how I went from being told, "Go back to China," to helping my clients break through office politics, bias, and self-doubt.

You'll speak up in a meeting and offer a strategic solution to a shared problem only to be unacknowledged, ignored, or worse yet, shushed. 

Then a colleague -- almost always a man -- will paraphrase your idea and get praised for it. 

Next time something like this happens to you, please for the love of Jove -- do NOT stay silent. 

If getting better paid and promoted were simply based on being excellent at what you do, you'd have been a millionaire CXO years ago.

So why shouldn't you be paid at the top of the pay range? 

“I’m the worst at doing the ‘warm and fuzzy’ things. I’d much rather go straight to business,” my client said. As a forward-thinking VP leading a talented team of consultants, she’s determined to solidify her team’s reputation as essential to her firm’s success. With her first in-person team retreat on the horizon, we developed a four-step plan to help her achieve this…