Two Simple Reminders That Improve Negotiation Outcomes: Dr. Julia Bear

According to research, women's monetary negotiation outcomes improved when they did two things before negotiating: 

1. Recalling the last three times they were assertive 

2. Imagining that they are negotiating for a friend. 

In this episode, I interview one of the co-authors of this research, Julia Bear. 

We explored this research, why what and how we think impact our negotiation results, and how we can apply research like this to improve our negotiation outcomes. 

Julia Bear is an Associate Professor in the College of Business at Stony Brook University. Dr. Bear’s research focuses on the influence of gender on negotiation outcomes, as well as conflict management in organizations. In her research, she investigates what factors, both individual and situational, influence the gender gap typically seen in negotiation outcomes, and how an understanding of these factors can help to reduce this gender gap in both initiation of negotiation and negotiation performance. 

Other resources mentioned include:

HBR article: 10 Myths about Negotiating Your First Salary

Book: Women Don't Ask

On Money, Family, and Passion: Eric Kohner Coaches Jamie Lee Using the Five Knowledge Centers

According to Ivy Business Journal, “Executives and HR managers know that coaching is the most potent tool for creating lasting personal change.” 

I think coaching is something everyone should get to test drive and experience first hand to really understand the impact of it. 

But if you can't hire a coach (or find a coach-in-training who will coach you for free) the second best thing might be for you to sit in on a coaching session.

That’s why earlier this week, I invited leadership coach Eric Kohner, who trained me to coach at the Coaches Training Institute to coach me on my own money beliefs using his leadership framework called the Five Knowledge Centers. 

The Five Knowledge Centers reflect:

1. Head - reason 

2. Heart - love

3. Gut - intuition and vision 

4. Groin - passion and drive

5. Hands - action  

Eric Kohner is an internationally recognized executive coach and keynote speaker. He founded eKCosystem, a global corporate training company dedicated to bringing HUMAN BEING into business, because “in today’s highly competitive world, the new hard skills are the heart skills.” 

Learn more about Eric's work here: www.ekcosystem.com 

Or reach him directly via email here: eric.kohner@icloud.com

You can reach me directly via email too: jamie@jamieleecoach.com 

How to Tame Your Inner Mammal with Dr. Loretta Breuning

When I first encountered Dr. Loretta's work on Youtube, I was delighted because she has created a valuable body of work that helps us understand the why and how behind our animal impulses that don't always support our human aspirations to be better, to thrive, and to be at peace with ourselves and with the world. 

In this special interview, Dr. Loretta helps us see that there is nothing wrong with us -- even if our brains would have us think otherwise because of evolution, neurotransmitters, and socialization.

Loretta Breuning is Founder of the Inner Mammal Institute and Professor Emerita of Management at California State University, East Bay. She’s the author of Habits of a Happy Brain, and many other books that have been translated into Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Arabic, French, Turkish and German.

Learn more at InnerMammalInstitute.org 

To learn more about me (or to sign up for the upcoming free webinar), come to JamieLeeCoach.com 

The Human Brain: How Neurotransmitters Impact Negotiation Behavior

As a negotiation geek, I love thinking about how the brain impacts our negotiating behaviors. The brain is a fascinating organ. It's the human computer that can process a trillion bits per second. Yet scientists say we've only barely begun to understand how the brain works. 

We know a few basic things, like how the brain evolved over millions of years and how some chemical messengers (or neurotransmitters) relay information that trigger thoughts and emotions that drive our behavior. In this episode, I talk about three neurotransmitters: serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol. 

My intention is to raise our awareness about our brains and the impact of these neurotransmitters so we can understand: 

Our own impulses at the negotiating table, The why behind how other people react to your ask, and How to create better strategies for success with all this in mind.

You've Gotta Ask

In this episode, I share insights on negotiation and leadership from the book Success Affirmations: 52 Weeks for Living a Passionate and Purposeful Life

In week 17, the affirmation is: 

I am asking for what I want and need with a positive expectation that I will get a YES. 

Some of the useful tips on asking include: 

Ask as if you expect to get it Assume you can Ask someone who can give it to you... 

I share my own thoughts, insights, and tips to help you ask for what you want so that you can become bolder, braver, and better paid. 

If you'd like to check out details about the upcoming mastermind, come over to https://www.jamieleecoach.com/mastermind

Or email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com 

How to Generate Self-Confidence without Faking Anything

We all know self-confidence helps you get more of what you want. But how do you get confident if you haven't yet gotten what you want?

There's a better way than "fake it till you make it," pretending to be something you're not, or blowing yourself up like a blowfish... 

The best way is to generate confidence inside of you, by you and for you.

This is something I help my clients do so they can become bolder, braver, and better paid.

This episode is a replay of a webinar where I shared five simple steps anyone can master to generate self-confidence.

If you'd like to watch and not just listen to the replay, come to www.jamieleecoach.com or email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com. 

Why Do You Assume the Worst-Case Scenario?

"I'm afraid of losing all my money and becoming a bag lady." 

"I think they are going to criticize and rebuke me." 

"They will pigeonhole me for what I've done, not what I can do." 

Does your brain assume the worst-case scenario when it comes to your career and interactions with other people? 

If so, what's the impact of assuming the worst? What's the upside and what's the downside? 

In this episode, I share: 

- my personal experience of assuming the worst and living in survival mode 

- two of the "worst-case scenarios" that actually happened in my life 

- some biases I'm choosing on PURPOSE so that I can thrive, not just survive. 

If you enjoy this podcast, you'd enjoy joining me at my upcoming webinar. Come register at www.jamieleecoach.com 

Or write me for suggestions, thoughts, and more: jamie@jamieleecoach.com

How to Set Boundaries Without Giving Up Power

Clients often tell me that they struggle with setting boundaries at work. The feelings associated with this are resentment, victimhood, and powerlessness. 

Here's the good news: It's totally possible to set and maintain boundaries without giving up personal power when you take 100% responsibility for your own emotions and actions. This leads to both self-empowerment and healthy relationships. 

In this episode, you'll learn 

- How other people and external circumstances don't create our feelings,

- How emotional dependency leads to manuals that disempower, and 

- The difference between a manual and boundary 

If you'd like to register for the upcoming free webinar or to get in touch with me for a trial coaching session, email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com. 

If you'd like to read past podcast transcripts, go to https://www.jamieleecoach.com/podcast

Why It Feels Gross to Claim Value for Ourselves

Clients often tell me, “It feels gross to claim value for myself. It feels like bragging. It’s uncomfortable to assign dollar value to my accomplishments.” 

In this episode, I dispel a persistent myth -- one that was ingrained in me by the patriarchy from a very young age --  that holds us back from generating real self-worth and authentic self-confidence. 

Find out how to generate power, so you can claim value for yourself and become unstoppable as a negotiator. 

Here's where you can access transcriptions of previous episodes and get in touch with me: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/podcast

Your review on iTunes would be super appreciated!

How to Break the Habit of Being You

Out of unconscious habit, I've thought that there's something wrong with me. I've thought, "I'm lazy. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough." 

Thinking this way had me feeling shame, anxiety, and self-loathing. 

This negative mindset did not motivate me to inspired action. 

In 2019, I'm committed to breaking this habit, so I can love myself more fully and create more intentionally. 

I share my three biggest takeaways from the awesome book "Breaking the Habit of Being You" by Dr. Joe Dispensa (https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094), which are: 

1. Mind Creates Reality

2. Mind Shapes Body

3. To Change is To Think Greater Than How We Feel 

How to Become Bolder, Braver, and Better Paid with Klay S. Williams

How do ambitious people actually become bolder, braver, and better paid? 

By making a contribution. 
By committing to their life's purpose. 
By risking their authenticity, even when there's only $500 in the back pocket and not much else, other than a dream. 

This the story of Klay S. Williams, whom I met at a Dress for Success event in 2016. 

Klay helps Fortune 500 professionals find their true purpose and satisfaction in four areas of life: Career, Relationships, Spiritual Lives, and Health. He's the founder of Plan A Enterprises, LLC, a full services lifestyle firm. He's also an author, speaker, and host of Plan A Konversations (the podcast) and Bookstr Wellness, a new digital TV show showcasing authors in the mind-body-spirit space.

Interview with Aeric Meredith-Goujon: How to Negotiate and Coach Relationships

If you're a human being in, wanting to be in, or who just got out of a relationship, you won't want to miss this interview with relationship coach Aeric Meredith-Goujon. 

Aeric is a visual artist, musician and relationship coach. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and two kids.

In this conversation, Aeric and I explored 
- How getting married is an exercise in interest-based negotiation 
- How relationships can have a purpose
- The difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict
- How different orientations can cause misunderstanding and, what to do about it

You can learn more about Aeric here: aeric.nyc 

You can sign up for my upcoming webinars here:
www.jamieleecoach.com/free-coaching-live

A 15-Year Career Retrospective Introspective

What did you desire for yourself in the past? What did you think and believe in the past that have now become your current reality? What do you believe now? What is your dream for the future? These are some of the questions I answer for myself in this career retrospective introspective episode.

How to Use Future Gratitude as Networking Fuel

What if you can decide how you want to feel in the future? What if you can use gratitude to fuel your strategic interactions so that you can become bolder, braver, and better paid? In this special episode, I share a quick five-minute exercise that you can do ahead of a networking event to transform how you think, how you feel, and therefore how you show up.

Future Focus and Goal Shame

“Why do you need to articulate your future potential as part of your negotiation strategy?” I address this question and explain the importance of future focus for you, for your negotiation, and for your leadership. 

I share my updates for 2018 “Wild and Improbable” Goals and how I am dealing with the shame of not yet having achieved my ambitious goals.

Thriving is not about being “happy-happy-joy-joy” 100% of the time. 

In order to thrive, you need to embrace the pain of growing and the sting of rejection and shame. 

To learn more about my small group mastermind, go towww.jamieleecoach.com

The People-Pleasing Trap

How differently would you show up to ask for help, work, or money if you didn't have the need to please people? 

My bet is that you'd be bolder, braver, and as a result, better paid. 

I have a lot of experience with the people-pleasing trap, because I'm a recovering people-pleaser. 

In this episode, I explain how this fear of displeasing others holds us back from asking, receiving, and thriving. 

You'll learn: 
- Why and how the life-long training to please others started 
- Why our brains confuse other people's displeasure as a threat
- Why it's impossible to please others with who we are, what we say, or what we do 
- Three ways we can get triggered to sabotage our outcomes 
- Three ways we can work ourselves out of the people-pleasing trap 
- Five of my recurring stressful thoughts around pleasing people 
- How I turn these thoughts around to instill a new mindset of growth, appreciation, and confidence 

Come check out www.jamieleecoach.com for details on Small Group Mastermind, private coaching, and speaking services.

Interview with Vivian Giang: Six Common Negotiation Mistakes

If you're a pragmatic negotiation geek like me, or if you want to improve your negotiation skills so that you can thrive, you won't want to miss this interview with Vivian Giang. 

Vivian is a business writer covering how the changing workplace has impacted the way we work and live, in areas related to automation, robotics, team dynamics, executive leadership, and management. She asks, "How do you navigate these waters while also creating credibility and relevance?" She writes about these topics for business publications, like Fast Company, Fortune, Quartz, Dealbreaker, and Marie Claire.

In this value-packed conversation, Vivian and I addressed each of the six common negotiation mistakes as highlighted in this Fast Company article: www.fastcompany.com/90225908/all-the-things-youre-doing-wrong-in-negotiations 

We discussed: 
- Why it's important to start with your why before asking for the what
- The impact of anchoring effect on the bargaining range
- How making assumptions creates negotiation pitfalls 
- Why you may not want to accept the first offer 
- How to differentiate between short-term and long-term wins
- How negotiators can prepare strategically to avoid these mistakes 

You can find Vivian on Twitter at @vivian_giang.
You can learn more about my negotiation coaching and training services here www.jamieleecoach.com

Interview with Dr. Maya Borgueta: How Ambitious People Overcome Anxiety and Burnout

Though I believe we are all born to thrive, I know there are days when that truth can feel like a lie, because of anxiety. 

We experience anxiety more acutely when we most need our courage to brave a high-stakes conversation like negotiation. 

In this valuable conversation with Dr. Maya Borgueta, a clinical psychologist and founder of Stella Nova Psychology, we explored: 
- Why it's important to be prepared to know your worth at any time during job interview process 
- What purpose anxiety serves 
- Why it's not an emotion you need to avoid or push away 
- How to manage your anxiety level in a simple, yet powerful way 
- What self-compassion has to do with managing our anxiety 
- How to recognize burnout 
- Steps to take to address burnout 

Learn more about Dr. Maya Borgueta on www.stellanovawomen.com

How to Negotiate a Career Pivot with Lisa Lewis

If you are ambitious and analytical, and if you want to grow your career through strategic pivots, you won't want to miss this value-packed conversation with career change coach Lisa Lewis. 

Lisa Lewis is a career change coach helping ambitious, analytical individuals feeling stuck in their current jobs find different work that “fits” who they are. She does this by helping you clarify who you are, what you want most, what a great job for you looks like so you can make your career transition in the easiest way possible.

In this conversation, Lisa shares how she successfully negotiated a career pivot with a $10K increase in salary offer. (Listen carefully for the word-by-word script!) 

We also explore how the growth mindset can help ambitious people like you overcome the trap of perfectionism so you can embrace change, risk, growth, learning and joy. 

Learn more about Lisa here: LisaLewisCareers.com 
Watch the Carol Dweck's TED talk here:www.ted.com/talks/carol_dweck_the_power_of_believing_that_you_can_improve?language=en

How to Avoid the Trap of Impostor Syndrome

One of the most insidious traps in negotiation is the impostor syndrome. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like you are good enough, or if you’ve sabotaged your outcomes because of imposter syndrome, you won’t want to miss this episode. I walk you through the root of behavior that generates our results and concrete steps you can take to shift your mindset, from a place of lack to one of abundance, confidence, and power.