You've Gotta Ask

In this episode, I share insights on negotiation and leadership from the book Success Affirmations: 52 Weeks for Living a Passionate and Purposeful Life

In week 17, the affirmation is: 

I am asking for what I want and need with a positive expectation that I will get a YES. 

Some of the useful tips on asking include: 

Ask as if you expect to get it Assume you can Ask someone who can give it to you... 

I share my own thoughts, insights, and tips to help you ask for what you want so that you can become bolder, braver, and better paid. 

If you'd like to check out details about the upcoming mastermind, come over to https://www.jamieleecoach.com/mastermind

Or email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com 

Why Do You Assume the Worst-Case Scenario?

"I'm afraid of losing all my money and becoming a bag lady." 

"I think they are going to criticize and rebuke me." 

"They will pigeonhole me for what I've done, not what I can do." 

Does your brain assume the worst-case scenario when it comes to your career and interactions with other people? 

If so, what's the impact of assuming the worst? What's the upside and what's the downside? 

In this episode, I share: 

- my personal experience of assuming the worst and living in survival mode 

- two of the "worst-case scenarios" that actually happened in my life 

- some biases I'm choosing on PURPOSE so that I can thrive, not just survive. 

If you enjoy this podcast, you'd enjoy joining me at my upcoming webinar. Come register at www.jamieleecoach.com 

Or write me for suggestions, thoughts, and more: jamie@jamieleecoach.com

How to Set Boundaries Without Giving Up Power

Clients often tell me that they struggle with setting boundaries at work. The feelings associated with this are resentment, victimhood, and powerlessness. 

Here's the good news: It's totally possible to set and maintain boundaries without giving up personal power when you take 100% responsibility for your own emotions and actions. This leads to both self-empowerment and healthy relationships. 

In this episode, you'll learn 

- How other people and external circumstances don't create our feelings,

- How emotional dependency leads to manuals that disempower, and 

- The difference between a manual and boundary 

If you'd like to register for the upcoming free webinar or to get in touch with me for a trial coaching session, email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com. 

If you'd like to read past podcast transcripts, go to https://www.jamieleecoach.com/podcast

Why It Feels Gross to Claim Value for Ourselves

Clients often tell me, “It feels gross to claim value for myself. It feels like bragging. It’s uncomfortable to assign dollar value to my accomplishments.” 

In this episode, I dispel a persistent myth -- one that was ingrained in me by the patriarchy from a very young age --  that holds us back from generating real self-worth and authentic self-confidence. 

Find out how to generate power, so you can claim value for yourself and become unstoppable as a negotiator. 

Here's where you can access transcriptions of previous episodes and get in touch with me: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/podcast

Your review on iTunes would be super appreciated!

How to Break the Habit of Being You

Out of unconscious habit, I've thought that there's something wrong with me. I've thought, "I'm lazy. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough." 

Thinking this way had me feeling shame, anxiety, and self-loathing. 

This negative mindset did not motivate me to inspired action. 

In 2019, I'm committed to breaking this habit, so I can love myself more fully and create more intentionally. 

I share my three biggest takeaways from the awesome book "Breaking the Habit of Being You" by Dr. Joe Dispensa (https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094), which are: 

1. Mind Creates Reality

2. Mind Shapes Body

3. To Change is To Think Greater Than How We Feel 

How to Become Bolder, Braver, and Better Paid with Klay S. Williams

How do ambitious people actually become bolder, braver, and better paid? 

By making a contribution. 
By committing to their life's purpose. 
By risking their authenticity, even when there's only $500 in the back pocket and not much else, other than a dream. 

This the story of Klay S. Williams, whom I met at a Dress for Success event in 2016. 

Klay helps Fortune 500 professionals find their true purpose and satisfaction in four areas of life: Career, Relationships, Spiritual Lives, and Health. He's the founder of Plan A Enterprises, LLC, a full services lifestyle firm. He's also an author, speaker, and host of Plan A Konversations (the podcast) and Bookstr Wellness, a new digital TV show showcasing authors in the mind-body-spirit space.

Interview with Aeric Meredith-Goujon: How to Negotiate and Coach Relationships

If you're a human being in, wanting to be in, or who just got out of a relationship, you won't want to miss this interview with relationship coach Aeric Meredith-Goujon. 

Aeric is a visual artist, musician and relationship coach. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and two kids.

In this conversation, Aeric and I explored 
- How getting married is an exercise in interest-based negotiation 
- How relationships can have a purpose
- The difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict
- How different orientations can cause misunderstanding and, what to do about it

You can learn more about Aeric here: aeric.nyc 

You can sign up for my upcoming webinars here:
www.jamieleecoach.com/free-coaching-live

A 15-Year Career Retrospective Introspective

What did you desire for yourself in the past? What did you think and believe in the past that have now become your current reality? What do you believe now? What is your dream for the future? These are some of the questions I answer for myself in this career retrospective introspective episode.

How to Use Future Gratitude as Networking Fuel

What if you can decide how you want to feel in the future? What if you can use gratitude to fuel your strategic interactions so that you can become bolder, braver, and better paid? In this special episode, I share a quick five-minute exercise that you can do ahead of a networking event to transform how you think, how you feel, and therefore how you show up.

Future Focus and Goal Shame

“Why do you need to articulate your future potential as part of your negotiation strategy?” I address this question and explain the importance of future focus for you, for your negotiation, and for your leadership. 

I share my updates for 2018 “Wild and Improbable” Goals and how I am dealing with the shame of not yet having achieved my ambitious goals.

Thriving is not about being “happy-happy-joy-joy” 100% of the time. 

In order to thrive, you need to embrace the pain of growing and the sting of rejection and shame. 

To learn more about my small group mastermind, go towww.jamieleecoach.com

The People-Pleasing Trap

How differently would you show up to ask for help, work, or money if you didn't have the need to please people? 

My bet is that you'd be bolder, braver, and as a result, better paid. 

I have a lot of experience with the people-pleasing trap, because I'm a recovering people-pleaser. 

In this episode, I explain how this fear of displeasing others holds us back from asking, receiving, and thriving. 

You'll learn: 
- Why and how the life-long training to please others started 
- Why our brains confuse other people's displeasure as a threat
- Why it's impossible to please others with who we are, what we say, or what we do 
- Three ways we can get triggered to sabotage our outcomes 
- Three ways we can work ourselves out of the people-pleasing trap 
- Five of my recurring stressful thoughts around pleasing people 
- How I turn these thoughts around to instill a new mindset of growth, appreciation, and confidence 

Come check out www.jamieleecoach.com for details on Small Group Mastermind, private coaching, and speaking services.

Interview with Vivian Giang: Six Common Negotiation Mistakes

If you're a pragmatic negotiation geek like me, or if you want to improve your negotiation skills so that you can thrive, you won't want to miss this interview with Vivian Giang. 

Vivian is a business writer covering how the changing workplace has impacted the way we work and live, in areas related to automation, robotics, team dynamics, executive leadership, and management. She asks, "How do you navigate these waters while also creating credibility and relevance?" She writes about these topics for business publications, like Fast Company, Fortune, Quartz, Dealbreaker, and Marie Claire.

In this value-packed conversation, Vivian and I addressed each of the six common negotiation mistakes as highlighted in this Fast Company article: www.fastcompany.com/90225908/all-the-things-youre-doing-wrong-in-negotiations 

We discussed: 
- Why it's important to start with your why before asking for the what
- The impact of anchoring effect on the bargaining range
- How making assumptions creates negotiation pitfalls 
- Why you may not want to accept the first offer 
- How to differentiate between short-term and long-term wins
- How negotiators can prepare strategically to avoid these mistakes 

You can find Vivian on Twitter at @vivian_giang.
You can learn more about my negotiation coaching and training services here www.jamieleecoach.com

Interview with Dr. Maya Borgueta: How Ambitious People Overcome Anxiety and Burnout

Though I believe we are all born to thrive, I know there are days when that truth can feel like a lie, because of anxiety. 

We experience anxiety more acutely when we most need our courage to brave a high-stakes conversation like negotiation. 

In this valuable conversation with Dr. Maya Borgueta, a clinical psychologist and founder of Stella Nova Psychology, we explored: 
- Why it's important to be prepared to know your worth at any time during job interview process 
- What purpose anxiety serves 
- Why it's not an emotion you need to avoid or push away 
- How to manage your anxiety level in a simple, yet powerful way 
- What self-compassion has to do with managing our anxiety 
- How to recognize burnout 
- Steps to take to address burnout 

Learn more about Dr. Maya Borgueta on www.stellanovawomen.com

How to Negotiate a Career Pivot with Lisa Lewis

If you are ambitious and analytical, and if you want to grow your career through strategic pivots, you won't want to miss this value-packed conversation with career change coach Lisa Lewis. 

Lisa Lewis is a career change coach helping ambitious, analytical individuals feeling stuck in their current jobs find different work that “fits” who they are. She does this by helping you clarify who you are, what you want most, what a great job for you looks like so you can make your career transition in the easiest way possible.

In this conversation, Lisa shares how she successfully negotiated a career pivot with a $10K increase in salary offer. (Listen carefully for the word-by-word script!) 

We also explore how the growth mindset can help ambitious people like you overcome the trap of perfectionism so you can embrace change, risk, growth, learning and joy. 

Learn more about Lisa here: LisaLewisCareers.com 
Watch the Carol Dweck's TED talk here:www.ted.com/talks/carol_dweck_the_power_of_believing_that_you_can_improve?language=en

How to Avoid the Trap of Impostor Syndrome

One of the most insidious traps in negotiation is the impostor syndrome. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like you are good enough, or if you’ve sabotaged your outcomes because of imposter syndrome, you won’t want to miss this episode. I walk you through the root of behavior that generates our results and concrete steps you can take to shift your mindset, from a place of lack to one of abundance, confidence, and power.

Three Key Principles for Negotiating as a Leader

It's no coincidence that the principles behind interest-based negotiation framework dovetail with time-proven leadership principles. 

1. Success is 80% mindset and 20% tactics. My clients are applying this insight to reinvent their lives and careers from stifling to thriving. Success is an inside job.
2. Ask open questions to understand their why before seeking to be understood. Far from being "nice," this is a powerful strategy that enables my clients to win over a room of naysayers, flip no to yes, and turn transactions into transformational conversations.
3. Be ready to tell a new story. My career changed when I stopped telling myself, "I can't do it," and started saying, "I will walk the talk I give."
What new story will you tell? Come to www.jamieleecoach.comfor future webinar updates and more.

What if You Lowballed Yourself? #SalaryNegotiation

What if you took the job without asking for more? What if you find out only later that you’re getting paid under-market rate? I’ve done this a few times early in my career. In this episode, I share my own experience, insights into shifting your mindset, and concrete strategies and script for renegotiating your pay by articulating your value with confidence and framing for mutual benefit. Please register for next week’s free webinar (9/12/18, 12pm EST) here: www.jamieleecoach.com

Webinar Recap: How to Deal with "Difficult" People

With webinar series "Bolder, Braver, and Better Paid," I am working towards my mission of helping women double their income and impact. 

This is a quick recap of the kick-off webinar "How to Win Over Difficult People." 

I give an example from my own life, when I felt that my manager was difficult, that he had power over me, and that I wasn't given the chance to speak at meetings. 

Download the one-page PDF of open questions here:bit.ly/2MC8xu4 

Interview with Eric Kohler: How to Take a Stand #MeToo

Eric Kohner is an ally who taught me how to coach -- which I love not only because it's a grand way to make a living, but also because coaching skills are at the intersection of leadership and negotiation skills. 

Eric is also an internationally recognized executive coach and keynote speaker. He founded eKCosystem, a global corporate training company dedicated to bringing HUMAN BEING into business, because “in today’s highly competitive world, the new hard skills are the heart skills.” 

In this interview, Eric shared personal stories of: 

- How he negotiated a conflict with his employer, from anger and resistance to connection and vulnerability
- How he encountered unconscious bias in the most unlikely of places and gained empathy for the marginalized
- How he took a stand for himself and you can, too, in the era of #MeToo so we can press for progress. 

Learn more about Eric's work here: www.ekcosystem.com 
Or reach him directly via email here: eric.kohner@icloud.com

Interview with Jay Fields: How to Use the Brain in Your Body to Overcome Anxiety and Building Confidence and Strength

Jay Fields is a somatic educator and therapeutic coach who teaches women how to regulate their nervous systems -- or "the brain the body" -- so they can manage anxiety and difficult emotions with empathy and connection. 

In this impactful interview, Jay walks me through exactly what happens in our bodies, our brains, our nervous systems, and in our behavior when we encounter negative emotions like anxiety in the moment of a high-stakes conversation. 

We explored: 
- How to deal with anxiety in the moment of negotiating without freezing, fleeing or fighting 
- How to manage negative emotions so they don't sabotage your outcomes 
- What it means to have your own back and the power it gives you to name the "elephant" in a negotiation 
- How to get better at setting boundaries and saying no with confidence and strength 

Learn more about Jay here: jay-fields.com