When someone tells you the next step in your career is “networking,” something in you tightens. It feels foreign. Transactional. A little inauthentic.

That discomfort is a sign you’ve been handed the wrong definition of networking, and it’s conflicting against your integrity. 

Here are five steps I suggest to my well-meaning introverted clients who want to grow their careers without being schmooze-y.

When people hear “negotiation,” they often picture something adversarial: pounding the table, making threats, trying to “win” at all costs. That’s not how I negotiate, and it’s certainly not how I teach my clients to negotiate.

The women I work with are skilled, thoughtful, and allergic to office politics. They don’t want to turn into jerks to get what they want. They want their income and impact to grow without drama.

That’s where relational negotiation comes in.