You’re allowed to feel both proud and petrified. Brave and unsure.

You don’t have to resolve that tension. You get to be real inside it. That’s one of the most honest, human things you can do.

My mom — a South Korean immigrant with ironclad grit who wishes nothing less than abundance and success for her children — would probably get mad at me for saying this: I delight in making less money, by design.

It’s not a failure of strategy or a lack of hard work. Choosing to leave money on the proverbial table is a deliberate, values-based choice.

Too often, the approach women are taught is based on outdated models—confrontation, brinksmanship, and posturing.

Because the win isn’t just about getting a “yes.” It’s about learning to advocate for yourself in a way that feels grounded, genuine, and generative—even if the answer is “no.”

“😥 Ugh, negotiating with Picky Pat (my boss) a couple years ago was so emotionally exhausting that I’d do anything to avoid confronting them again this year, even though I know I’m overdue for a market rate adjustment,” my client said. My client wants to feel confident going into future conversations about the promotion and raise she wants. 

In the article “Dos and Don’ts of Asking for a Raise,” you’ll learn:

• What and when to document to build a strong case for your raise

• How to tailor your ask in a way that minimizes blowback and maximizes respect 

• Word-for-word suggested scripts from two experts, and so much more 

"When I think about asking for raise, my anxiety spikes, because what if they say no? I'll feel like a total failure." 

A BIPOC client said this to me the other day.

Read on for the three-step strategy I offered my client, so she can advocate for her career growth with more ease and confidence.

It’s NOT your fault if the path to promotion feels murky or unfair…

because in reality, it is FAR from true meritocracy.

And here’s the thing to remember.

Are you in self-advocacy debt in your career? Read on to recognize symptoms, confront root causes, and take the first step to close the gap between where you are now and where you want to go.