The 3-Step Diagnostic to Reclaim Leadership Authority and Confidence
Let’s do a quick thought experiment
When you think of the word "authority," what is the first thought that comes up for you?
For many high-performing women leaders I coach, "authority" is a loaded word.
Here’s why that makes sense. We’ve spent years navigating structures where authority was questionable or its misuse eroded our trust. Conditioned to be self-effacing and humble, we often view traditional authority as brash or bombastic.
In response, we default to a "collaborative" style that—while well-intentioned—can mask a dangerous conflation: the belief that true authority requires the agreement, approval, and acceptance of others.
Whiplash: High-stakes authority friction
When a team member pushes back with defensiveness or fails to meet expectations, many women experience it as a personal challenge to their authority.
This is the source of the whiplash: a jarring snap from professional confidence into "panicky self-talk" and doubt.
We begin to manage emotions instead of outcomes, exhausting ourselves by trying to make the team feel "comfortable" just so we can feel secure in our own right to lead.
What really is authority, anyways?
The reality is that authority is not a popularity contest. It is a functional tool meant to enable a group to achieve more together than they ever could independently.
When you assume authority — as a project leader, an executive, or founder — you won’t always be liked, and people won’t always agree.
True, grounded authority is not granted by the consensus of your team; it is drawn from your deep knowledge, your commitment to the organization’s mission, and your unwavering intention to deliver value.
To move past the whiplash of seeking agreement, use this three-step diagnostic to redefine your relationship with power:
The Three-Step Authority Diagnostic
Acknowledge What Was: Recognize your habituated patterns, or how you viewed authority in the past. Identifying old associations where authority felt "hard to trust" helps you see when past programming is bubbling to the surface during a moment of conflict.
Redefine What It Gets to Be Now: Shift your perspective from authority as proven by the court of public opinion to authority as purpose. In reframing your authority in this way, it serves as the ground from which the systems, consistency, and processes required for your team to scale get built.
Secure Your Grounding: Remind yourself that your authority cannot be diminished by a teammate’s incompetence or a colleague's defensiveness. You are the one holding the vision; their temporary discomfort does not make your leadership any less real.
By separating your worth from the team’s temporary discomfort, you stop doing their jobs for them and start leading them toward higher ground.
Stop the Whiplash and Step Into Your Excellence
As an executive coach specializing in high-performing women, I help leaders ground themselves in the authority of their expertise and excellence.
Together, we work to grow your confidence from the inside out so you can lead without being slowed down by the jarring stress of interpersonal friction.
Stop absorbing the discomfort of your team and start leading from a place of unshakable authority.
Ready to ground your leadership? Book your free hour-long consult today.
