She reached out for coaching because, in her words, she didn't want to make the mistake of being "too blunt, too forward, too much" in her negotiation-- a critique she's heard more often than she'd care to count over her decades-long career. So here are four things we worked on in coaching.

Too often, the approach women are taught is based on outdated models—confrontation, brinksmanship, and posturing.

Because the win isn’t just about getting a “yes.” It’s about learning to advocate for yourself in a way that feels grounded, genuine, and generative—even if the answer is “no.”

A client of mine, let's call her Jia -- a thought leader in her field -- is preparing for a showdown.

Doing what's in Jia's best long-term interest financially, professionally, and personally means communicating a decision that will anger her biggest client (for now).

Here are the three steps we took in coaching.

Explore new 2025 sliding scale coaching rates designed to make executive coaching more accessible, inclusive, and aligned with real-life finances.

My client, Kasvi, came into our session feeling frustrated, angry, and rejected.

Her boss had shut down a well-intentioned suggestion for improving team output—something Kasvi offered in good faith to support the team’s performance.

But instead of openness, she hit a wall: “That’s my problem to fix,” said the boss tersely. (Translation: “Stay off my turf.”)

“Do you do this with every client?” My client asked me yesterday.

She had already secured a promotion to Director during our coaching engagement and was gearing up to apply for another one.

I teach a concept called Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee (not a new idea 💡 — I first heard it from Kara Snyder when she coached me about a decade ago, and I’ve run with it ever since).

Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee, or IBSC, for short, is the voice of our inner critic.

Ask a bright, ambitious manager how they’d know they have executive presence — and you might hear something that sounds more like a hostage situation than leadership.

What if you don’t have to figure out office politics the hard way?

What if handling frustrating work situations didn’t require Machiavellian maneuvers—or pretending everything’s fine?

Here’s a simple guide to walk you through your options.

On a cold February night in 2008, I ran away from the South Slope apartment I'd been sharing with my husband like my life depended on it. In a full-blown panic, I ran down 4th Avenue shrieking, "JUST GO AWAY!" to the man I'd shared a life with for the last three years.

When you’re that rare woman, one of the handful of people of color, or the neuro-sparkly oddball in leadership…Navigating office politics and advocating for yourself is spiritual work.

As an executive coach I work for the 1% -- but not the ones hoarding wealth. The 1% I work with are stockpiling something even more powerful, even more in short supply these days: Courage, vision, and the guts to rewrite the rules. 

As with so many hard-working, conscientious professionals I've had the privilege of working with, the real challenge wasn’t the logistics of securing multiple offers. It was socialized guilt. Guilt is a learned emotion. It got ingrained in us by authority figures who wanted us to be—let’s be blunt—easily controllable.

The odds are stacked against employees, especially women and minorities. Macroeconomics, mismanagement, layoffs, discrimination—forces beyond your control determine your fate.
So why bother?
Why fight for a promotion?

Armed with confidence-boosting tools, my client aced the technical and behavioral interviews. When it became clear an offer was on the table, she reached out to me: "How should I negotiate this?" Here's how we approached it with three key steps…

A client recently came to a session with an anxiety level of ten out of ten. By the time she arrived at our coaching session, she had already spent an hour talking to a therapist about the accident. Yet, she still felt like she was, in her words, “surviving but not thriving.”

"Let’s address that anxiety," I said.

Cindy Gallop famously says, "The amount you ask for in a salary negotiation is the highest amount you can say out loud without actually bursting out laughing.” 

This morning, I repeated that advice to a coaching client—a high-achieving attorney on the verge of receiving a new job offer.

The real reason to negotiate your next job offer or raise goes far beyond your paycheck.
But first, let’s talk numbers. When you negotiate, your chances of a pay increase go way up:
📊 85% of those who negotiate get at least some increase (Salary.com survey)
💼 70%+ of hiring managers expect candidates to negotiate (Robert Half survey)
💰 Typical salary increases range from 10% to 20%—some secure even more.

You're invited to two upcoming events. One is a virtual workshop on salary negotiation via Zoom (2/14/25) and the second an in-person live workshop on confidence in New York City (3/12/25).