When the Promotion Goalpost Keeps Moving for Women of Color

The other day I got off a Zoom session with an executive coaching client, and I was FURIOUS.

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Yet again, a brilliant woman of color being denied a promotion—and the reason given? She needs to do more emotional labor.

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Let’s be clear: This is how systemic bias shows up. The bar keeps getting moved. Her deliverables were met. Her measurable, actual performance was stellar.

But instead of recognition, she's told she "needs to make others feel better" -- with no clear, specific examples of how that isn't already happening or what that would even look like in action.

Because what's really happening under the surface is that an inexperienced male and pale manager feels uncomfortable acknowledging the professional prowess and potential of a woman who isn't white nor matches his outdated -- quite frankly -- bigoted ideas of soft, willowy (read: submissive) femininity.

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It makes my blood boil. Because I've experienced this firsthand in my previous lifetime as an employee, and I continue to see it again and again with my clients—bright, driven women of marginalized identities being told they have to work twice as hard, carry the emotional burden of their teams, and still prove they “deserve” leadership.

It was enough to make me quit my tech company job and hang my own shingle as a coach specializing in women who feel allergic to office politics.

And maybe, for some of you, it's enough to make you:

• Vote with your feet (i.e., fire your boss and get a new one),

• Vote for yourself (i.e., never buy into the lie that somehow their misguidedness is a reflection of you -- or become your own boss) and

• Vote with your tribe of like-minded, evolved humans who understand the trappings of unconscious bias (i.e., cultivate allies, let them recruit you, or help you find a better boss)

If that’s you, let’s be real: before you can “vote” with your feet, yourself, or your tribe, the pre-step is collecting your wits and managing the stress of working for someone you can’t stand.

That’s why I created a short Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping guide — to help process the anger, injustice, and exhaustion that comes with this kind of BS. 

🔥 If you’re feeling this too — or coaching someone who is — here’s the 2-minute guide on my blog with step-by-step visual instructions and slightly spicy language.

The point: We don't need to be consumed by the anger, but allow ourselves to be fully human -- containers of a spectrum of emotions, including anger.

🔥 May it give you a moment to center yourself, to acknowledge (not suppress) your righteous anger, and to harness it into action.

Talk soon,

Jamie

P.S. A newsletter subscriber listened to my 16-minute trance that I shared last week, got unstuck, cleared all stumbling blocks, and emailed me:

 Thank you for showing up to save the day with a little bit of witchcraft.

In case you missed it (or you're new around here -- welcome!) here's the podcast episode: Neuroscience-Based Trance: Three Brain Alignment for Leaders.