Do you ever feel "desensitized" to your accomplishments?

Like everyone who matters probably already knows, since they're CC'd on your Monday updates or sit in on your monthly strategy sessions.

So it feels redundant, maybe even cocky, to restate the boringly obvious magnitude and impact of your contributions (which, in your mind, substantiate why you should've been promoted last review cycle, and you feel frustrated that the promotion went to Disappointing Steve instead of you).

[Jamie]’d have me notice spaces on my body, and when I came out of it, she’d say, “What do you know?” And I’d just know. Every time. It’s like she bypasses the amygdala—my fight-or-flight center—and helps the rest of my brain take over. I slow down, find the solution, and then we talk strategy.

It’s not the kind of session people expect. It’s not “What should I do?” and the coach gives a plan. It’s more like, “Let’s get quiet so you can hear your own knowing.”

The result? The year’s not even over, and she already has the backing of her performance coach (the internal one at her company), her new boss, and her boss’s boss.

If getting promoted is like baking a cake, hers is already baked, iced, and ready to serve.

So what’s left? The cherry on top: a five-slide promotion deck that makes her promotion a done deal.

In an increasingly interconnected world, more of us find ourselves working across borders—whether with colleagues in another country, clients from a different culture, or leaders who bring global perspectives. These interactions can be exciting and enriching, but they can also bring moments of tension.

Bias isn’t a personal defect—it’s part of the human condition. But awareness of these patterns allows us to choose curiosity over judgment. When we slow down and notice these blind spots, we not only make better decisions—we also create workplaces that are more inclusive, humane, and effective.

Attribution matters because it shapes whether we judge or connect.

When we remember that people are influenced by larger systems—not just personal qualities—we move from frustration to curiosity, from contempt to compassion.

Yes, progress feels fragile right now. But fragile doesn’t mean doomed. Fragility can be strengthened with intention — and even transformed into what Nassim Taleb calls antifragility.

Leaders who are willing to choose courage, who can combine accountability with compassion, will be remembered as the ones who helped their organizations become more resilient, more human, and more sustainable in uncertain times.

Our role isn’t to demand that people live up to the picture in our heads. It’s to support them with curiosity, compassion, and patience as they live into the picture that’s true for them.

The sweet gift of seeing potential becomes even sweeter when we release the bitterness of unmet expectations.

🤨 How can POC leaders NOT gaslight ourselves navigating the predominantly white world? This was the question a client and I grappled with earlier today. She — a minority executive — told me about the hyper vigilance she feels at work. 

On Friday, October 3rd, I’m stepping out of my Newark home office (and let’s be real, my faded, pilling lululemons) to lead an interactive workshop at the NJ Conference for Women.

Where: Princeton Hyatt Regency
When: Friday, October 3rd, 7:30am–4pm
What: The biggest professional women’s conference in New Jersey.

Women of color face systemic bias at work when promotion goalposts keep moving and ‘emotional labor’ becomes the excuse. In this post, I share how these patterns show up, why they’re unjust, and a free 2-minute EFT tapping guide to process anger, stress, and exhaustion — so you can reclaim power, clarity, and momentum in your career.

Where did you come from before you were born? Where do you go after you're dead?

And what's something you want to do so that, on your deathbed, you can say, "I lived a life with no regrets"?

You want to expand your career, maybe even pivot into something different and bigger — but the thought of networking events, office politics, or chasing superficial connections makes your skin crawl.

This playbook is for you: the ambitious but introverted professional who has valuable knowledge to share, wants to keep growing, and refuses to play the schmoozy, transactional game.

In the best of worlds, she could create abundance even without the billionaire. She could found a company, grow it, and guide it to a successful exit event that generates significant returns for herself and her shareholders.

So together, we crafted a negotiation script that anchored her starting salary above the stated range. We aimed for 4X her current pay.

Let’s be honest—coaching isn’t magic. But sometimes, the space to stop go-go-going and start listening to the wisdom of your deeper mind can unlock some seriously unexpected momentum.

That’s what happened with my client SJ.

You don’t need to play a zero-sum game in your career journey. 

You don’t need to hustle for external validation or tie your self-worth to a job title.

But you can choose to grow — to negotiate for better pay, to rise into leadership — not because you’re trying to prove your worth…

Women are gaslit in the boardroom the same way we're gaslit in the doctor's office. In both medicine and management, male norms — including male bodies, male behaviors, and male baselines — form the default standard. So what can you do?

You grow your career one conversation at a time — not by being some superhuman “Business Barbie” who never messes up and wears a tight plastic grin that doesn’t scare the bros.

A client recently transitioned into a custom-made-for-her leadership role—with executive sponsorship and the team support of her dreams. And now? 🥶 She's frozen. In her words -- "overwhelmed by everything [she] could be doing."

The day I found out I was underpaid from reading an industry newsletter with salary benchmarks, it dawned on me like a gut punch: 

I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO ADVOCATE FOR MYSELF.