Yes, progress feels fragile right now. But fragile doesn’t mean doomed. Fragility can be strengthened with intention — and even transformed into what Nassim Taleb calls antifragility.

Leaders who are willing to choose courage, who can combine accountability with compassion, will be remembered as the ones who helped their organizations become more resilient, more human, and more sustainable in uncertain times.

Our role isn’t to demand that people live up to the picture in our heads. It’s to support them with curiosity, compassion, and patience as they live into the picture that’s true for them.

The sweet gift of seeing potential becomes even sweeter when we release the bitterness of unmet expectations.

🤨 How can POC leaders NOT gaslight ourselves navigating the predominantly white world? This was the question a client and I grappled with earlier today. She — a minority executive — told me about the hyper vigilance she feels at work. 

On Friday, October 3rd, I’m stepping out of my Newark home office (and let’s be real, my faded, pilling lululemons) to lead an interactive workshop at the NJ Conference for Women.

Where: Princeton Hyatt Regency
When: Friday, October 3rd, 7:30am–4pm
What: The biggest professional women’s conference in New Jersey.

Women of color face systemic bias at work when promotion goalposts keep moving and ‘emotional labor’ becomes the excuse. In this post, I share how these patterns show up, why they’re unjust, and a free 2-minute EFT tapping guide to process anger, stress, and exhaustion — so you can reclaim power, clarity, and momentum in your career.

Where did you come from before you were born? Where do you go after you're dead?

And what's something you want to do so that, on your deathbed, you can say, "I lived a life with no regrets"?

You want to expand your career, maybe even pivot into something different and bigger — but the thought of networking events, office politics, or chasing superficial connections makes your skin crawl.

This playbook is for you: the ambitious but introverted professional who has valuable knowledge to share, wants to keep growing, and refuses to play the schmoozy, transactional game.

In the best of worlds, she could create abundance even without the billionaire. She could found a company, grow it, and guide it to a successful exit event that generates significant returns for herself and her shareholders.

So together, we crafted a negotiation script that anchored her starting salary above the stated range. We aimed for 4X her current pay.

Let’s be honest—coaching isn’t magic. But sometimes, the space to stop go-go-going and start listening to the wisdom of your deeper mind can unlock some seriously unexpected momentum.

That’s what happened with my client SJ.

You don’t need to play a zero-sum game in your career journey. 

You don’t need to hustle for external validation or tie your self-worth to a job title.

But you can choose to grow — to negotiate for better pay, to rise into leadership — not because you’re trying to prove your worth…

Women are gaslit in the boardroom the same way we're gaslit in the doctor's office. In both medicine and management, male norms — including male bodies, male behaviors, and male baselines — form the default standard. So what can you do?

You grow your career one conversation at a time — not by being some superhuman “Business Barbie” who never messes up and wears a tight plastic grin that doesn’t scare the bros.

A client recently transitioned into a custom-made-for-her leadership role—with executive sponsorship and the team support of her dreams. And now? 🥶 She's frozen. In her words -- "overwhelmed by everything [she] could be doing."

The day I found out I was underpaid from reading an industry newsletter with salary benchmarks, it dawned on me like a gut punch: 

I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO ADVOCATE FOR MYSELF.

If, as you go to engage the room, anxiety and doubt rise in your chest... It’s easy to mistake your uniqueness as something to be fixed or tucked away—like a stained shirt sleeve you’re embarrassed to be wearing.

When your mind floods with doubt, and you wonder if you’re too much—or not enough—here’s the truth you’ve temporarily lost sight of:

You’re allowed to feel both proud and petrified. Brave and unsure.

You don’t have to resolve that tension. You get to be real inside it. That’s one of the most honest, human things you can do.

She was feeling shaky about asking to be paid what she had earned before.
Why? Because she had a story in her head: “I was probably overpaid in my last job.”

So she considered playing it safe, asking for a lower number—just to get her foot in the door.
But it didn’t feel good—or right.

Blatant injustice shakes our confidence and sense of well-being.

• Nor is it a lack of strength, power, or will that leads 75% of executive women to second-guess themselves (according to KPMG study) 

• And it’s no personal failing that 50% of women of color planned to leave their jobs, citing marginalization (according to Working Mother Media survey) 

My mom — a South Korean immigrant with ironclad grit who wishes nothing less than abundance and success for her children — would probably get mad at me for saying this: I delight in making less money, by design.

It’s not a failure of strategy or a lack of hard work. Choosing to leave money on the proverbial table is a deliberate, values-based choice.

Feeling like a "fraud" is super normal, even for me. The more I coach subject matter experts and executive women, the more I see that imposter syndrome is never an indicator of actual competency but a hypnotic spell induced by a society steeped in bias against women and minorities. We can break the spell of this terribly boring hypnosis by co-opting its language. So there, I'm a "fraud."